64 page likes in 3 days! Wow, that’s good! Thanks you so much for all my new followers from across the world! The goal is set that my page will have 1500 likes before this weekend! If achieved, I have a surprise for you! Thank you!
Sorry that I look terrible today. I’ve had a bit of a minor stress period for some weeks.
Hello there. It was a while ago I shared something of importance. In friday last week I started my weekend after a long week of extreme stress and new routines at work. We had to work in a speed we were not used to, but hopefully we would become used to it after a time, well if it wasn’t for me and my infection. I was tested positive for corona and I have been sick and in quarantine since last friday.
The first days were terrible. I was just sleeping and sleeping with pain in my skin and body and I didn’t eat anything. I just slept in high fever. Later, I got my apetite back and now I’m almost completely normal again. I am also regaining my sense for taste and smell. And today something happened. I’m actually getting quite mad of this quarantene, but today was the first day for a long time, where I actually missed my job. I miss it so much, to get some routines, having people to talk to, and going up in early morning and have something to do and some routines. So I actually look forward to start working again adventually. But first, this covid-infection has to be ridden out.
During my time in quarantine, I have been working with the re-writing of my novel. But this time I’ve actually taken the time to start with a mind map and a synopsis. Now I have a clear picture of what kind story I want do write. And that’s a good start. Now I just have to start write it as well. I have also taked the time, to impvove and expand my fantasy map, and deleted my music from Spotify to upload it here on my blog instead.
Tomorrow and the rest of the quarantine I will hopefully start drawing some stuff for my novel as well. It was a long time ago I was scetching and drawing. I look forward to do it.
My whole family is also recovering from Corona, especially my mother who seem to have a more aggressive covid than me. Hopefully she will recover soon and my family will hopefully recover any time to return to a normal life. I hope so. Because this is making us all quite nutz.
Hello! It was a while ago! I have been writing on my novel quite much lately. And I have lost several pounds of weight. This monday I was also employed for the first time in my life, with a real job and payment on a real conpany! And look how much weightloss I’ve made!
In new years eve, I made a promise. I would stop eating and drinking candy, chocolate and soda completely. I kept the vow for about an hour in the year of 2021. That’s the ygly truth.
However, there was some glimpses of light. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that I had lost over five kilos in only a few months. But after a break from my work, due to my mental health issues, I noticed that I started to consume even more sugar again. Today, on this day, I have gained all the kilos that I had been losing the last months. I feel like shit. Especially now after I recently have eaten my last meal of candy and soda for a long long time.
Now it’s time again. From sunday 00:00, I will completely stop eating candy and drinking soda. All chocolate, soda, lemonade, cookies and chocolate will go to hell. Except for pancakes off course. Home made pancakes. It’s time to make some change. I will start go out and walk every day. And when spring comes, I will go out bycicle. And when this goddamn pandemic is over, I will start go to gym.
My dentist said that I already now have got burns on my teeth, due to all the soda I’m drinking. Now it’s time for change. I will save thousands of Swedish crowns per month by doing this. Off course, it’s easy to say this now, when I’m satisfied after a big sugar bomb. But I’m actually starting to get tired of it all. This shit gotta go.
I have been starting to write on a novel and I write a lot nowadays. Just like before my great hypo-maniac depression that started in summer 2012. I will write and write and be creative just to stop thinking of chocolate and coca-cola. I have to.
No coca cola No chokolate No cookies No lemonade No soda No candy
Instead I will eat proper meals that makes me satisfied
More fish More chicken Less pork Less beef Less milk More eggs More vegitables More dark bread Less white bread More fruits Less potatoes and fries No dinners at restaurants or pizzerias No sweets, soda or candy More walking More cykling More workout at the gym More creativity More sun More sleep More teethcare and teeth brushing
Here’s the post for today, then. I have a very close friend, who I ironically, have never met in real life. We have written to eachother since late 2018, I think. And we have also been speaking by telephone. Milou Lindeberg is her name. She is quite an odd and diffucult person, which makes me like her even more! I like strange people with similar interests.
I think Milou sent me a friend request somewhere in 2018 or 2017. In the beginning, we were not very close at all. She was just a Facebook friend among others. But we began to come closer to eachother due to Milou’ss personal struggles with certain people or the internet tail of these people.
Milou is a jew with a very sad and dark past. I don’t want to go in to details about that here, but shs been through hell yhrough her whole life and what didn’t kill her made her stronger. I have always been with her when some nazi, islamist, leftist or right winger were against her. In late 2018, we became a great duo of real friendship and loyalty.
It’s not easy being a jew today, not in Sweden either. The antisemitism is wide spread across the globe, amongs right wing extremists, nazis, muslims and even leftists. The antisemithic propaganda can be hard to identify, if you don’t know about it’s history and how it has developed.
In the late 2018, Milou appeared accidently in the Swedish fake journalist and online hater Joakim Lamotte’s live video, where he had gathered a lot of people in Uppsala. Lamotte calls himself a women right defender, but that’s only if women agree with his view on criminality in Sweden. Lamotte just happened to film Milou, who just happened to be right at the place where Lamotte was filming. Even if she begged Lamotte not to film her, he continuing filming her. She knew that she would get in trouble, because people that critisizes Lamotte, mostly women, often get hanged out on his page with over 200 000 followers.
And that’s exactly what happened. Milou was identified by the nazi movement “Nordic Resistance Movement”, for wearing a David’s Star in her necklace. Her adress was shared amongs nazis and she got several visits with nazis painting Swastikas on her front door and throwing pig blood in her appartment, forcing her to move to another city long from Uppsala.
It was in this moment, that I really suffered together with Milou. I called her for the first time and we were talking about what the hell we were going to do. Milou has similar diagnostics like I have, but some even worsa that I cannot relate to. But we are always there for eachother when someone of us have a hard time. Milou is very funny and kind and she shares some interests with me. She paints, draws, and even make live armour and clothing. She loves Harry Potter and I love The Lord Of The Rings. And we are both trying to become writers.
Some years ago, Milou met another friend, Daniel Lernherde, which is a former nazi that have made up with his extremistic past. Now they have an own page: “The Ex-Nazi and the Jew” and they are travelling across Sweden and educating people about nazism, racism, antisemitism and hatred. Can you imagine? A former nazi, and a jew, together travelling around and educate about racism and antisemitism? It’s kinda cool, and admirable, isn’t it?
It’s time to be honest. I am sick. I suffer from bipolar disorder and now I’m in a hypomaniac period. I always use to be more sad in the winter, some years worse, or some years not at all, almost. This winter is the worst for many years for me. That I can tell you right now. I have therefore on sick leave from work.
It was on my work I understood that something was wrong. Causing drama and getting angry at people, or over protective and paranoid, has been something normal the last weeks on my job. I got obsessed with a suspicion of that a college is suffering from psycical ilness and was cutting himself. I had no proof for it at all. It was just an obsessive idea I got from nowhere. I wanted to help him and inform my colleges about his problems. When they asked why I thought this about a co-worker, the only so called “proof” I had was no proof at all. Just me overthinking. People started to get annoyed at me and they gave me a really big remark for my accusations. As soon as I got the remark, I understood how wrong I was all the time. I had no proof. It was just my mind spooking. I started to feel ashamed about what I had done and later, I started to cry. I cryed so badly because I realised I was mentally ill and needed therapy for my mania.
The stress, pressure and worryness I have been caring since last week has surely been a big part of my hypomania. It was stress due to brawls at work almost every day, fear of losing good friends and all the other intrigues that has been going on for the last weeks. I sleep to little as well. Only about five or four hours by night, which make my brain overheated sometimes.
But the scariest things are the memory slots. Friends and family are telling me that I’ve done and said completely outrageous things, that I don’t remember myself. I was recently told, that when I celebrated my little brother’s birthday, I collected the food on my plate as normal, but suddenly, I left the table and came back with a handful och chicken right in my hand and just placing them on my plate. Not very nice and hygenic, especially not in these pandemic times. I had no memory at all of doing that, and I would never do it knowingly.
As you all can see, I am now home from work and this monday, I will go to the psychiatrist and start to deal with my mental issues. In the meantime I will soon be started with my novel.
However, there are some good news as well. The last month, I have lost over five kilo of my weight. And then I havn’t even tried.